Wedding photographs are considered one of the most precious possessions a woman can have. Think about the lovely stories the grandmother can tell their grandchildren when they pore over the photographs many years later. These magical moments are over in a blink of an eye and can never be recaptured again in its essence. Hence, it is not unusual for celebrity or famous wedding photographers to charge exorbitant prices for their skills. There’s nothing wrong in paying a little extra to get THAT photographer who suits your taste in photography.

The current trend of wedding photography demands the photographer to be able to capture “The Moment” . It could be the little peck on the bride’s cheek from her father (Let’s say Awww..), the flower girl kissing the page boy (Flower girl mother beware!) or the funny moment where the granduncle does an impromptu Macarena dance(That little blue pill sure is working!)

Nevertheless, there are a few items on the photographer’s checklist you definitely want to go over before your big day. Read on and do consider them when discussing with your photographer.

Family History

It is the utmost importance to let your photographer know your family background before he goes around taking photographs at will. Sensitive issues like family feuds (This aunty hates that aunty), divorces (Stepmother and Mother is a no-no) and recent deaths must be made known to the photographer so that he knows how to act accordingly. This is to eliminate awkward photographs and potential escalating tension between the family members.

Family Photographs

There are many photograph checklists available on the internet with regards to the flow of photographs to be taken with the married couple. A distinct flow of immediate family and extended family photographs must be followed to avoid confusion and make sure that even the family’s goldfish has taken their photo with the couple. Look up the checklist from the internet to get an idea of the flow of photographs so that no relative can complain that they didn’t have a chance to take a photo with you!

Your Wish Is My Desire

wedding photographer ain’t a genie, and you aren’t Aladdin!!

Don’t all brides have their whims and fancies when it comes to photographs? It could be that stunning golf course backdrop view, or that beautiful sunset, or even a wedding dress and the wedding slippers. Photographs tell a tale of our wedding day and it would be best to compile a comprehensive list for the photographer so that he doesn’t miss out on any special moments which you will want to be photographed and kept for memory. The internet again has an abundant list of ideas (crowd applause, exchanging vows, exchanging vows closeup, bride looking at mirror, bride looking at wedding dress, bride looking at her ring – you know the drill) you could use. For the picky ones, state your desires and they shall be granted. For the not-so-picky ones, you can trust your expensive photographer to do their job.

Gone In 60 Seconds

out of topic – this MOVIE just needs more publicity

Nope, it does not refer to how long your marriage lasts, but rather the time it takes for a Polaroid shot to get developed. If you’re trying something creative like Polaroid photographs or instant photo printing service for your guests, make sure that this is made known to your photographer in advance. I attended a wedding whereby the couple gave everyone an instant photograph from the digital photo printer which was provided by the photographer. It adds a personal touch and also ensures that everyone goes home remembering what a beautiful couple you were that night. Another couple made sure that all their guests had a Polaroid picture and once the photographs were developed, the guests wrote their well-wishes next to their Polaroid photographs pasted on a nice scrapbook. Not every photographer may have the necessary equipment to do so and you might want to check before hand.

Time Is Everything

Photography actually takes time! Everyone needs to stand in position, adjust their clothes, suck in their stomachs, smile/grin/put V sign, say Cheese and take at least 2 shots. The good news is – The above sequence takes only 2 minutes. The bad news is – You’re running out of time.
Make sure that when you prepare your wedding ceremony or wedding banquet timetable, there is adequate time to cater for photography for you and your guests and family members. Failure to do so will ensure that you will offend many people and your shots will not turn out nice. You have been forewarned!

Alright, stop sniggering. It’s been a long day and both of you probably want to retire back to your hotel suite for a well deserved rest. Of course, the wedding night has been a long cherished moment both of you have been looking forward to and you certainly want to make sure everything goes right the first night!

The wedding night can be a taboo for discussion especially for the more conservative Asians but a little preparation and some tips below will help path the way to a wonderful night!

Keeping Your Emotions In (Reality) Check

Both guys and girls approach sex very differently and hence, one must always bear in mind that your partner may or may not be as prepared as you for the wedding night. This is especially true for virgins who may have a myriad of emotional anxiety, excitement, stress or apprehension. Fret not as you are not alone feeling this way.

Some people may even have emotional trauma when it comes to sex due to bad experiences encountered while growing up. This could be in the form of strict upbringing whereby parents view sex as a taboo / “dirty” subject or unpleasant past experiences.

As such, it is very important that couples take some time to communicate their expectations of their first night as a couple. Discuss on your fears and fantasies will prepare both of you better for the big night. Should any partner have a physiological or physical barrier towards intimacy, it would be best to seek professional help to overcome this issue. Remember, women are emotional and men are physical when it comes to sex. Take time to discuss your differences.

It is also important to respect each other’s desires and boundaries when it comes to sex on the first night. Take your time to explore each other and this will keep your marriage interesting for many years to come.

Planning Goes A Long Way

Well, women normally need a lot of preparation to get them into mood for the wedding night. Okay, I do mean for any night that involves sex. It would help to prepare in advance the lighting, scents, music and a very comfortable bed to get the girls into the mood for love. Guys, you’ve been forewarned. Any wham bang thank you ma’am will not score you any points, much less for the bride’s first night. In fact, you may just have turned them off with your insensitive approach to the most magical moment in their lives.

A relaxed atmosphere will certainly get things going. It doesn’t hurt if both parties did some body “housekeeping” to present their best for the big night. Unwanted hairs can be easily removed and excess flab can be reduced with regular trips to the gym / dieting prior to the wedding. Confidence or a lack thereof can sometimes play a key role on the big night.

Looking sexy is always a key ingredient to a fun night! You could surprise each other with lovely gifts so that they can wear it for the night of passion. The internet has full of surprises for the big sexy night!

Be creative! Think along the lines of candles, aromatherapy, massage oils, chocolates & strawberries, bubble bath and etc.

Oh, a word of caution, if family planning is in the works, prepare the rubber (read : protection)!

It’s Not The Rush Hour Honey

Sometimes people put too much expectations on the first night. Let’s be realistic : After months and weeks of preparation, a whole day of events and a hectic schedule, who else has the mood for sex?

Normally, couples can’t wait to retire to their beds and have a good night sleep. It could be a case of the drunk groom who probably isn’t even going to get out of his suit, much less get his you-know-what up and running. It could be that the newlyweds have to sleep early so that they can rush off to their honeymoon the next day.

For the many reasons, the consummation may not happen on the wedding night and there is nothing to be ashamed off. You both have got a lifetime together and I always say it’s the journey that is important, not how you start it off.

After a long and hectic day, the last thing you both want is to continue to put on a false smile and try to please one another. If both of you are tired, take a well deserved break and let the “festivities” carry on the next day.

The wedding night is only as good as you want it to be. There’s nothing wrong to postpone it to another opportune occasion when both of you are physically and mentally ready for the best time of your lives!

We all heard the naysayers in the last few months predicting an economic recession for this year. You’re scared and you know it’s true. With everything going up except your salary, you’re both wondering if there’s anyway to keep costs down at your wedding. The best solution is to postpone it but you probably can’t wait to start your new life together. So that leaves us with the next best option – Cost Cutting measures. What I’m going to share below is probably not going to win a Nobel prize for Economics, but I’m quite sure it’ll save you enough money to go on a decent honeymoon.

Trim the fat

As you go about preparing your wedding, keep an eye on stuff which are going to blow your budget. Itemise the items which you have to purchase and mark out priorities for these items. I’m sure you can do without the 2 turtle doves or an elaborate fireworks display. When it comes to trimming the excess off your budget, you can never go wrong repeating the three mantras – Beg, Borrow & Steal.

If there’s anything you can have without purchasing it, just do it. Network with your relatives and friends to see if there’s any help you can garner from them with regards to them contributing to your wedding plans. This could be in terms of financial or physical aid. If you’ve been a nice person all these while, I’m sure aid will come pouring in once you’ve opened your mouth.

Look out for mundane objects such as ring pillow, wedding accessories, decorations or even that bridal car which you could do without buying or renting. Make your requests known early so that once word gets around, your relatives and friends can keep a lookout for you. This is especially important as there might be some sales or offers which could help you out.

If you need help, never be shy to ask your friends to help you out on your big day. You’ll definitely be able to find someone who’s an amateur or semi-professional photographer, videographer, singer/musician, emcee, photoshop/web designer and etc.

Friends in high places

The person you want to know right now

It’s time to open up your phone book and see which friends you’ve got in high places. By that I mean people who are in the marketing industry or have a large network. It also helps if you’ve got friends who are into trading or premiums as they seem to be able to source great ideas and gifts at cheap prices. These friends probably have connections to people who might help you out in your wedding plans such as florists, wedding planner, event crew, freelance photographers, musicians/singer, classic car collector and etc.

You’ll soon begin to realize the power of networking will help reduce your wedding bill by a big margin. Every penny saved is a penny kept for a rainy day / romantic honeymoon. Heck, you might even be lucky enough to get freebies like I did for my wedding. I asked around and it happened that there was a photo studio who needed to do a cover shot of my wedding venue. Needless to say, some wheeling-dealing and a big personal recommendation from my friend got me beautiful floral arrangements, candle stands and décor for my wedding venue completely free! Of course I bought my friend a good dinner for his help!

Age of internet

Needless to say in the age of blogs and forums, every bride-to-be has scoured the internet for the best tips and resources. They find refuge in fellow netizens who are walking the same journey towards their big day.

Other than collating information on the best deals in town, it doesn’t hurt to find out if there’s any common ground which both of you could share on. An example could be that you found out that another couple is using the same premises the day before yours. It wouldn’t hurt to ask if you could split costs with them with regards to the wedding decorations, table centerpieces and floral arrangements. Fresh flowers usually last more than 2 days and frankly, no one pays that much attention to the freshness of the flowers these days. You could also ask about other services such as emcee or musicians where costs can be shared. Service providers normally provide a discount if they get multiple bookings.

Think smart, not hard

Trade secrets can be useful when planning your wedding. Did you know that flowers generally cost more during the period near festivals and important occasions like Mother’s Day? It is also important to note that your selection of flowers should also tie in with those which are in season. Costs for hiring musicians and emcee also rise due to the increase in demand on these dates. Plan your important day away from these occasions if possible. By the way, plastic flowers cost much lesser than fresh ones and they look just about the same with the proper skills in floral arrangement

It’s becoming common knowledge that wedding lunches are much cheaper than dinners. Moreover, the restaurant can cater to the same menu as the dinner banquet at a lower cost since it’s all about economies of scale for them. This means you don’t have to compromise on the quality of your wedding banquet.

Wedding dresses and night dresses all have a fashion lifespan. If you plan to buy a dress, be sure to ask when is the new batch of dresses coming in. Chances are the old batch of dresses will be sold at a considerable discount once the arrival for the new season’s fashion is in. Make friends with the outlet supervisor and she might even throw in a staff discount (up to 30%) for you if you’re nice to her. I’ve done it before and you can do it too! Don’t be shy to ask for a favour from a stranger, they’re probably too nice to refuse you if you can convince them their help means a lot to you.

A person learns best from history

A practical way to save some money is to ask your married friends! Practically everyone has a no. 1 regret on their wedding budget. Just round them up and ask them this question – If they could cut a cost from their wedding, what would it have been and what was their solution to it?

You would be surprised at all the nuggets of information you could get from them to help you with your budget. I’ve heard about stories of invitation of too many guests, improper allocation and control of liquor being served and unnecessary flowers / decorations which no one took much notice in the end.

Already planning for your honeymoon?

How about the Twin Towers instead of this one?

A little budgeting goes a long way to keep you out of debt. We came to realize that the money saved could have extended our honeymoon by a few days or gotten us to a more exotic destination. Remember, your big day goes by in a flash and you probably will not recall much of it until you watch the video. If you invested your savings into that new king size bed or fabulous silk satin sheets, you would have looked back and thanked me for it.

My no. 1 regret on my wedding budget? Wedding photos taken at the photo studio.

All fairy tale stories usually have a similar recurring theme in their animation movies. They usually involve a beautiful maiden, a male suitor, a baddie and definitely a happily ever after. Judging from all the children’s costume competitions that are so prevalent lately, it is easy to see that every girl has her own secret idol. From the luscious hair of Rapunzel to the carefree life of a Princess in Aladdin, every girl wishes that she can have the particular character or physical attributes of her Princess idol.

Other than enjoying a good romantic ending, I always tend to discover the life stories after the movies end and how they relate to a relationship. Can’t see the connection? Here’s a few for you to ponder on!

Snow White

Ahh… The iconic movie that is billed the Mother of All Fairy Tales. When the movie was first released, most of the children thought their grandmothers looked suspiciously like an evil witch and they suddenly understood why an apple a day kept the doctor away. Other than reminiscing the times when I always stood in front of my mum’s mirror and insisted that it tells me that I was the fairest of them all, I also understood that in life, our loved ones often help us in ways we cannot imagine. Looking back at how the dwarves tried to save Snow White from the evil Queen, it made me reflect on the times when my own friends and family members often told me to stay clear of men who were not suitable for me.

Often when we’re blinded by love, the best person to judge the boyfriend’s character and intentions are actually outsiders. They could be your parents, your close friends or even colleagues. Since we’re so caught up in the moment, they may be events that we often miss out which could be tell-tale signs of how the relationship is going to end. More often than not, we put the blame on ourselves for not trying harder in the relationship. This could be in terms of making more time for each other, sacrificing things like a holiday to run his errands and etc. We might think that our efforts are worth it but our friends may think otherwise.

Our girlfriends and parents are actually the best combing tools to weed out potential disastrous relationships. Just as the dwarves knew about the kind heartedness of Snow White and how easily she could be manipulated by the wrong parties, our friends and families who’ve watched us grow up also know whether “that” man is suitable for us. Lest we have to hear the words “ I told you so”, it’ll be wise to look to your friends and parents occasionally and ask them for their opinions of your guy. Brutal honesty hurts but if they give their thumb of approval, you’ll be sure of a happily ever after.

Pochahontas

In a world where freedom of marriage is now considered a birthright, our elders often put a damper in our relationships, especially those which involve cross cultural partners. Our elders have been shackled by the chains of conservatism and it takes time and effort to make them read the same page as you.

Pochahontas was probably doing what any girl would have done : Fighting for her right to love the man she desired. When Pochahontas saved her beloved Captain from her father, the selfless act proved that love transcends all race, religions and family backgrounds. Her dad was touched by her daughter’s love and set the Captain free. The Captain also repaid her dad’s trust by saving him from a bullet.

The walls of distrust are always there, especially when you have conservative parents and a boyfriend of a different race. Breaking down these walls is never easy but it is worth it. Make sure that your partner supports your actions in convincing your parents that his love for you is nothing but pure and real. Parents tend to overprotective, especially so if they do not understand the culture and mannerism of their prospective son in law. I strongly believe that education and perseverance will help you win your parents over. Vice versa.

If your boyfriend is scratching his head on how to win your parents over, he could always pick up a line or two from the movie. In one memorable scene, Pocahontas visits John and says it would have been better had they never met, but Captain John says he would “rather die tomorrow than live 100 years without you (Pocahontas).” I remembered using up an entire pack of tissues after hearing that line.

Cinderella

Cinderella always makes me recall one word “ Step-mothers”. Nope, I’m not talking about the nice ones but those who probably sent the Devil scurrying to do their housework. We’ve probably heard all the jokes there are about evil stepmothers, but did we see Cinderella lament about her miserable life? Probably not.

Whilst it’s so common for us to conveniently point the finger at others for our problems Cinderella has been a pillar of quiet strength and beauty. Even when she was harshly treated by all and sundry, Cinderella did not flitch from her responsibilities and even managed to make the best out of her situation. Heaven is always fair to you if you do unto others, how you want others to do unto you. It also does help if you have a fairy godmother granting your wishes with a wave of the wand.

Yet the central theme of Cinderella is forgiveness. The moral of the story can be summed up simply as “Beauty is a treasure but graciousness is priceless. Without it nothing is possible; with it, one can do anything”. I’ve learnt that forgiveness is an integral part of maintaining a close relationship with my loved ones. If Cinderella could forgive her step sisters at the end of the story, what better tonic is there for this unfair world if we do not aspire to be more like her.

Beauty and the Beast

Before you start looking at your boyfriend to make sure those nose hairs are in place, why not think back the first time you met him? Was it love at first sight? Was it his muscular appearance that caught your eye? Or was it his romantic gestures that set your heart fluttering?

As much as conventional fairy tales portray their Princesses as a sight to behold, you’d probably be dismayed to know he probably thinks you’re the Beast in the relationship. It’s conventional wisdom that guys woo girls for looks and girls are attracted by guys with inner beauty. Anything extra is a welcome bonus.

In the fairy tale, it tells of sacrifices made by Belle and Beast. Belle had to stay at the castle so as to fulfill her father’s earlier promise, whilst Beast had to let Belle go home even though he did not bear to do so. When Belle finally returns to the castle, she finds Beast dying in his rose bed with a broken heart. Belle had begun to love Beast despite his appearance and she managed to break the curse and Beast was transformed into his original form.

However, this fairy tale is not about who is the prettier one in the relationship. It is perfectly normal for both parties to have unrealistic expectations of their other half in a relationship. The trick is to find a compromise so that you become the Beast and your other half becomes the Beauty. This not only ensures that both of you strive to meet your other half’s expectations, both your sacrifices will also enhance your relationship to the next level. It may sound like hard work but believe me, you’ll get to hear the sweet sounds of birds and bells in your golden years.

In the end, fairy tale cartoons are not just fantasies that occur in a far, far land once upon a time. With the right attitudes towards a relationship, both of you could create the happy ending that would be the envy of others. If there was one last characteristic I always wanted to have after watching the cartoon movies, it’s a good singing voice so that I can summon the birds, rabbits and other cute animals to do my household chores every morning!

It’s the month of sunny June and I’m getting tons of wedding invitations from friends all over. If it’s a wedding of a close friend, you’ll be more than eager to participate and make sure that his/her wedding will be a memorable one for everyone. However, things never seem to go right at times, especially if unexpected problems suddenly crop up. That’s the story I’m going to share with you all and a valuable lesson could be learnt from my experience.

Uncooperative Guests

Some can come looking like a goat!

Problem Scenario – If there’s anything that can stress up your wedding dinner, it’s the guests from hell who refuse to listen to you. You can have the perfect seating plan but always bear in mind that there are always the odd black sheep who refuse to do as they are told. They will saunter into the banquet hall and do their own things. I had the bad experience of trying to tell them to check with the reception counter for their allocated seating arrangement but they just simply refused to listen. This was especially true for the elderly guests as they felt that they had the right to sit with their friends, any where they liked. In the end, we faced a problem whereby a table had too many guests or the guest who arrived later were forced to sit at other tables. This of course lead to many unhappy scenes and problematic seating arrangements.

Preventive Measure – Make sure the couple run through the guest list with their family / ushers a few times prior to the banquet to identify problematic guests (Read : elderly guests). Ensure that the banquet staff keep a few chairs on standby because there’s bound to be guests who insist on “gate-crashing” particular tables where their friends / relatives are. Have the immediate family members on standby so that they can direct their family friends / relatives to the allocated tables and do “trouble-shooting” / “sweet talking” should the guests refuse to cooperate with the ushers.

Unfilled Tables

Don’t go breaking the bank for your wedding dinner!

Problem Scenario – Unfilled tables mean a loss of “income” to the newlyweds. The food is wasted due to insufficient guests and proper management of unfilled tables could lead to savings by “closing off” / transferring the guests to fill up other unfilled tables. The problem is compounded by the fact that the guests at the table do not know who is sitting at the same table or that they are not sure if their friends will make it to the dinner or not. Unfilled tables are the bane of wedding banquets as 1) the guests at the particular table feel “naked” due to the empty seats and 2) food is inevitably wasted as the guests will be full by the 4th – 5th course of the banquet.

Preventive Measure – RSVP your guests to make sure that they are turning up for the banquet. Try to ensure that the guests at the table know each other so that the ushers can request the guests to call their friends to confirm if they are still coming. In the worst case scenario, ensure that the guest’s phone number is available so that the ushers can make the calls themselves to confirm the arrival of the guests. If all things fail, make the practical choice of moving the guests to another unfilled table and hope for the best. Remember, it is not your responsibility to ensure that the guest turns up punctually.

Irresponsible Ushers / Family Members

Get the real usher for the job!

Problem Scenario – The duties have all been set and allocated to the respective usher / family member. Suddenly when the crowd starts streaming to the banquet hall, you find yourself doing ten tasks all by yourself. You look around and find that the person who was responsible for their part of the duties have either gone to the bar for drinks and simply abandoning his duty to chat up some pretty lady. It can be tough if you don’t know the person well enough to tell him to come back and the newlywed’s too busy to help you call them back to their duties. All hell’s going to break loose so what do you do?

Preventive Measure – Check with the couple and get them to assign a duty supervisor for the wedding banquet. Preferably, this person knows all the people on duty that night so that things don’t get too confrontational. Get the people on duty together for at least 1 meeting prior to the wedding banquet so that they can familiarize with each other and their respective duties. Iron out potential problems and make sure everyone is responsible enough to carry out their duty respectively.

The Superstar Wannabe

Just a wannabe ….

Problem Scenario – You’ve hired a MC / wedding singer and she thinks that she is the star of the night. Not contended with just performing her numbers on stage, she insists that the guests applaud after every performance. She might even do a stand up comedy routine and expects everyone to give her the attention she deserves. Just what do you do with someone who’s determined to live out her superstar fantasy in front of an unconcerned crowd?

Preventive Measure – Like all job interviews, check with your MC / singer’s credentials. Get to know his/her routine and make sure you like what you hear before hiring him / her. Keep the entertainment straight to the point and make sure there’s no hidden surprises like cross dressing performances or scantily clad provocative dancing which could make your guests choke on their shark’s fin. If the performance crosses the line, be firm and tell him/her to tone down the performance a little.

Pop Goes The Weasel

It’s not ME! I’m cute!

Problem Scenario – One of the main highlight of the wedding banquet is probably the champagne toasting. It’s where the MC blesses the newlywed on behalf of the family and friends, wishing them happiness and longevity in their marriage. We had the horror of seeing the groom fail to pop open the champagne bottle and there was no spare bottle. In the end, the guests had to endure the uneasy silence while seeing the groom and the banquet staff struggling to pop open the bottle. I guess delivering a baby is probably much easier. In our Chinese culture where the champagne bottle represents a phallic symbol, the failure to pop open a bottle is sure to invite a lot of sniggers and dirty looks.

Preventive Measure – Make sure that the banquet uses champagne bottles which do not date back to the stone ages. Check the expiry dates prior to the banquet and insist that they keep a few spare bottles in case things really do not go according to plan. Make sure the groom is taught the proper method of opening a champagne bottle and practice before hand if the need arises.

The Lackluster Toast

A good toast? I don’t think so …

Problem Scenario- The family members and friends are finally invited to the stage to toast the guests and thank them for attending the wedding. The toasting begins and you only hear the groom staining his voice to make the toast. Generally, it would take more than a couple of family members and friends to spice up the toasting with the long and hearty “Yam Sengs”. We had to listen to the groom struggle for breath after each toast. What a pitiful sight!

Preventive Measure – Make sure that your MC generates enough atmosphere and encourage the guests to toast to the newlyweds. It is even more important to ensure your family members and friends are already pre-assigned to bust their lungs out during the toasting session. Make sure that there are enough microphones to go around so that everyone on stage gets a chance to give their “oomph” for the toasting! If the adults are shy, get your cousins and nephews/nieces to help out!