Wedding photographs are considered one of the most precious possessions a woman can have. Think about the lovely stories the grandmother can tell their grandchildren when they pore over the photographs many years later. These magical moments are over in a blink of an eye and can never be recaptured again in its essence. Hence, it is not unusual for celebrity or famous wedding photographers to charge exorbitant prices for their skills. There’s nothing wrong in paying a little extra to get THAT photographer who suits your taste in photography.

The current trend of wedding photography demands the photographer to be able to capture “The Moment” . It could be the little peck on the bride’s cheek from her father (Let’s say Awww..), the flower girl kissing the page boy (Flower girl mother beware!) or the funny moment where the granduncle does an impromptu Macarena dance(That little blue pill sure is working!)

Nevertheless, there are a few items on the photographer’s checklist you definitely want to go over before your big day. Read on and do consider them when discussing with your photographer.

Family History

It is the utmost importance to let your photographer know your family background before he goes around taking photographs at will. Sensitive issues like family feuds (This aunty hates that aunty), divorces (Stepmother and Mother is a no-no) and recent deaths must be made known to the photographer so that he knows how to act accordingly. This is to eliminate awkward photographs and potential escalating tension between the family members.

Family Photographs

There are many photograph checklists available on the internet with regards to the flow of photographs to be taken with the married couple. A distinct flow of immediate family and extended family photographs must be followed to avoid confusion and make sure that even the family’s goldfish has taken their photo with the couple. Look up the checklist from the internet to get an idea of the flow of photographs so that no relative can complain that they didn’t have a chance to take a photo with you!

Your Wish Is My Desire

wedding photographer ain’t a genie, and you aren’t Aladdin!!

Don’t all brides have their whims and fancies when it comes to photographs? It could be that stunning golf course backdrop view, or that beautiful sunset, or even a wedding dress and the wedding slippers. Photographs tell a tale of our wedding day and it would be best to compile a comprehensive list for the photographer so that he doesn’t miss out on any special moments which you will want to be photographed and kept for memory. The internet again has an abundant list of ideas (crowd applause, exchanging vows, exchanging vows closeup, bride looking at mirror, bride looking at wedding dress, bride looking at her ring – you know the drill) you could use. For the picky ones, state your desires and they shall be granted. For the not-so-picky ones, you can trust your expensive photographer to do their job.

Gone In 60 Seconds

out of topic – this MOVIE just needs more publicity

Nope, it does not refer to how long your marriage lasts, but rather the time it takes for a Polaroid shot to get developed. If you’re trying something creative like Polaroid photographs or instant photo printing service for your guests, make sure that this is made known to your photographer in advance. I attended a wedding whereby the couple gave everyone an instant photograph from the digital photo printer which was provided by the photographer. It adds a personal touch and also ensures that everyone goes home remembering what a beautiful couple you were that night. Another couple made sure that all their guests had a Polaroid picture and once the photographs were developed, the guests wrote their well-wishes next to their Polaroid photographs pasted on a nice scrapbook. Not every photographer may have the necessary equipment to do so and you might want to check before hand.

Time Is Everything

Photography actually takes time! Everyone needs to stand in position, adjust their clothes, suck in their stomachs, smile/grin/put V sign, say Cheese and take at least 2 shots. The good news is – The above sequence takes only 2 minutes. The bad news is – You’re running out of time.
Make sure that when you prepare your wedding ceremony or wedding banquet timetable, there is adequate time to cater for photography for you and your guests and family members. Failure to do so will ensure that you will offend many people and your shots will not turn out nice. You have been forewarned!

Alright, stop sniggering. It’s been a long day and both of you probably want to retire back to your hotel suite for a well deserved rest. Of course, the wedding night has been a long cherished moment both of you have been looking forward to and you certainly want to make sure everything goes right the first night!

The wedding night can be a taboo for discussion especially for the more conservative Asians but a little preparation and some tips below will help path the way to a wonderful night!

Keeping Your Emotions In (Reality) Check

Both guys and girls approach sex very differently and hence, one must always bear in mind that your partner may or may not be as prepared as you for the wedding night. This is especially true for virgins who may have a myriad of emotional anxiety, excitement, stress or apprehension. Fret not as you are not alone feeling this way.

Some people may even have emotional trauma when it comes to sex due to bad experiences encountered while growing up. This could be in the form of strict upbringing whereby parents view sex as a taboo / “dirty” subject or unpleasant past experiences.

As such, it is very important that couples take some time to communicate their expectations of their first night as a couple. Discuss on your fears and fantasies will prepare both of you better for the big night. Should any partner have a physiological or physical barrier towards intimacy, it would be best to seek professional help to overcome this issue. Remember, women are emotional and men are physical when it comes to sex. Take time to discuss your differences.

It is also important to respect each other’s desires and boundaries when it comes to sex on the first night. Take your time to explore each other and this will keep your marriage interesting for many years to come.

Planning Goes A Long Way

Well, women normally need a lot of preparation to get them into mood for the wedding night. Okay, I do mean for any night that involves sex. It would help to prepare in advance the lighting, scents, music and a very comfortable bed to get the girls into the mood for love. Guys, you’ve been forewarned. Any wham bang thank you ma’am will not score you any points, much less for the bride’s first night. In fact, you may just have turned them off with your insensitive approach to the most magical moment in their lives.

A relaxed atmosphere will certainly get things going. It doesn’t hurt if both parties did some body “housekeeping” to present their best for the big night. Unwanted hairs can be easily removed and excess flab can be reduced with regular trips to the gym / dieting prior to the wedding. Confidence or a lack thereof can sometimes play a key role on the big night.

Looking sexy is always a key ingredient to a fun night! You could surprise each other with lovely gifts so that they can wear it for the night of passion. The internet has full of surprises for the big sexy night!

Be creative! Think along the lines of candles, aromatherapy, massage oils, chocolates & strawberries, bubble bath and etc.

Oh, a word of caution, if family planning is in the works, prepare the rubber (read : protection)!

It’s Not The Rush Hour Honey

Sometimes people put too much expectations on the first night. Let’s be realistic : After months and weeks of preparation, a whole day of events and a hectic schedule, who else has the mood for sex?

Normally, couples can’t wait to retire to their beds and have a good night sleep. It could be a case of the drunk groom who probably isn’t even going to get out of his suit, much less get his you-know-what up and running. It could be that the newlyweds have to sleep early so that they can rush off to their honeymoon the next day.

For the many reasons, the consummation may not happen on the wedding night and there is nothing to be ashamed off. You both have got a lifetime together and I always say it’s the journey that is important, not how you start it off.

After a long and hectic day, the last thing you both want is to continue to put on a false smile and try to please one another. If both of you are tired, take a well deserved break and let the “festivities” carry on the next day.

The wedding night is only as good as you want it to be. There’s nothing wrong to postpone it to another opportune occasion when both of you are physically and mentally ready for the best time of your lives!

It’s the month of sunny June and I’m getting tons of wedding invitations from friends all over. If it’s a wedding of a close friend, you’ll be more than eager to participate and make sure that his/her wedding will be a memorable one for everyone. However, things never seem to go right at times, especially if unexpected problems suddenly crop up. That’s the story I’m going to share with you all and a valuable lesson could be learnt from my experience.

Uncooperative Guests

Some can come looking like a goat!

Problem Scenario – If there’s anything that can stress up your wedding dinner, it’s the guests from hell who refuse to listen to you. You can have the perfect seating plan but always bear in mind that there are always the odd black sheep who refuse to do as they are told. They will saunter into the banquet hall and do their own things. I had the bad experience of trying to tell them to check with the reception counter for their allocated seating arrangement but they just simply refused to listen. This was especially true for the elderly guests as they felt that they had the right to sit with their friends, any where they liked. In the end, we faced a problem whereby a table had too many guests or the guest who arrived later were forced to sit at other tables. This of course lead to many unhappy scenes and problematic seating arrangements.

Preventive Measure – Make sure the couple run through the guest list with their family / ushers a few times prior to the banquet to identify problematic guests (Read : elderly guests). Ensure that the banquet staff keep a few chairs on standby because there’s bound to be guests who insist on “gate-crashing” particular tables where their friends / relatives are. Have the immediate family members on standby so that they can direct their family friends / relatives to the allocated tables and do “trouble-shooting” / “sweet talking” should the guests refuse to cooperate with the ushers.

Unfilled Tables

Don’t go breaking the bank for your wedding dinner!

Problem Scenario – Unfilled tables mean a loss of “income” to the newlyweds. The food is wasted due to insufficient guests and proper management of unfilled tables could lead to savings by “closing off” / transferring the guests to fill up other unfilled tables. The problem is compounded by the fact that the guests at the table do not know who is sitting at the same table or that they are not sure if their friends will make it to the dinner or not. Unfilled tables are the bane of wedding banquets as 1) the guests at the particular table feel “naked” due to the empty seats and 2) food is inevitably wasted as the guests will be full by the 4th – 5th course of the banquet.

Preventive Measure – RSVP your guests to make sure that they are turning up for the banquet. Try to ensure that the guests at the table know each other so that the ushers can request the guests to call their friends to confirm if they are still coming. In the worst case scenario, ensure that the guest’s phone number is available so that the ushers can make the calls themselves to confirm the arrival of the guests. If all things fail, make the practical choice of moving the guests to another unfilled table and hope for the best. Remember, it is not your responsibility to ensure that the guest turns up punctually.

Irresponsible Ushers / Family Members

Get the real usher for the job!

Problem Scenario – The duties have all been set and allocated to the respective usher / family member. Suddenly when the crowd starts streaming to the banquet hall, you find yourself doing ten tasks all by yourself. You look around and find that the person who was responsible for their part of the duties have either gone to the bar for drinks and simply abandoning his duty to chat up some pretty lady. It can be tough if you don’t know the person well enough to tell him to come back and the newlywed’s too busy to help you call them back to their duties. All hell’s going to break loose so what do you do?

Preventive Measure – Check with the couple and get them to assign a duty supervisor for the wedding banquet. Preferably, this person knows all the people on duty that night so that things don’t get too confrontational. Get the people on duty together for at least 1 meeting prior to the wedding banquet so that they can familiarize with each other and their respective duties. Iron out potential problems and make sure everyone is responsible enough to carry out their duty respectively.

The Superstar Wannabe

Just a wannabe ….

Problem Scenario – You’ve hired a MC / wedding singer and she thinks that she is the star of the night. Not contended with just performing her numbers on stage, she insists that the guests applaud after every performance. She might even do a stand up comedy routine and expects everyone to give her the attention she deserves. Just what do you do with someone who’s determined to live out her superstar fantasy in front of an unconcerned crowd?

Preventive Measure – Like all job interviews, check with your MC / singer’s credentials. Get to know his/her routine and make sure you like what you hear before hiring him / her. Keep the entertainment straight to the point and make sure there’s no hidden surprises like cross dressing performances or scantily clad provocative dancing which could make your guests choke on their shark’s fin. If the performance crosses the line, be firm and tell him/her to tone down the performance a little.

Pop Goes The Weasel

It’s not ME! I’m cute!

Problem Scenario – One of the main highlight of the wedding banquet is probably the champagne toasting. It’s where the MC blesses the newlywed on behalf of the family and friends, wishing them happiness and longevity in their marriage. We had the horror of seeing the groom fail to pop open the champagne bottle and there was no spare bottle. In the end, the guests had to endure the uneasy silence while seeing the groom and the banquet staff struggling to pop open the bottle. I guess delivering a baby is probably much easier. In our Chinese culture where the champagne bottle represents a phallic symbol, the failure to pop open a bottle is sure to invite a lot of sniggers and dirty looks.

Preventive Measure – Make sure that the banquet uses champagne bottles which do not date back to the stone ages. Check the expiry dates prior to the banquet and insist that they keep a few spare bottles in case things really do not go according to plan. Make sure the groom is taught the proper method of opening a champagne bottle and practice before hand if the need arises.

The Lackluster Toast

A good toast? I don’t think so …

Problem Scenario- The family members and friends are finally invited to the stage to toast the guests and thank them for attending the wedding. The toasting begins and you only hear the groom staining his voice to make the toast. Generally, it would take more than a couple of family members and friends to spice up the toasting with the long and hearty “Yam Sengs”. We had to listen to the groom struggle for breath after each toast. What a pitiful sight!

Preventive Measure – Make sure that your MC generates enough atmosphere and encourage the guests to toast to the newlyweds. It is even more important to ensure your family members and friends are already pre-assigned to bust their lungs out during the toasting session. Make sure that there are enough microphones to go around so that everyone on stage gets a chance to give their “oomph” for the toasting! If the adults are shy, get your cousins and nephews/nieces to help out!

Last Saturday, we were invited to a wedding and our names were no where to be found in the guest list. Imagine our horror and the embarrassment when the reception had to call up the groom to check if we were the guest.

Could all the hiccups be minimized when drawing up the guest list? Drawing up the guest list is one of the most stressful things if not executed properly. As the saying, too many cooks spoil the broth. Usually the invitations are divided into three groups – the bride and groom, and the bride and groom’s respective families.

After choosing the venue, the parties involved should sit down and draw up the list of who they want to invite, taking into consideration the seating capacity of the venue. You wouldn’t want to squeeze fifty tables into a capacity of thirty and packed your guests like sardines in a can! Usually for first wedding in the family, parents are more excited than the bride and bride groom and want to invite everyone even the ones they don’t know well. It’s like they have somehow missed out on their own wedding and have to crash their children’s wedding.

This inevitably causes problems, as everyone will have conflicting ideas on who should and shouldn’t be invited. Your mother will insist on inviting aunties and uncles you never knew you had, while your father-in-law-to-be will want to invite all his colleagues and business associates. And to top it all off, your fiancé wants to invite his drinking pals. You’ll be left wondering if there will be any room for your friends.

Looking back, we should have put our foot down when it comes to the invited guests. When we planned our wedding our venue had the seating capacity for seventy tables of which forty five tables are guests whom we don’t even know. Even if we were to bump into each other on the street, we wouldn’t even recognize them. That is why it’s important to streamline your guests and invite people who mean most to you and are sincerely happy for you. In the end it really boils down into what kind of wedding celebration you have in mind.

These are a few lessons I have learn after planning for my wedding. Hopefully you can find it useful.

1. Allow yourself plenty of time to plan the guest lists, Do not do it under a time constrain. You’ll be stress out, temper’s will flare and in the end you might not even have a wedding to plan.

2. Have in mind what kind of wedding you want. Is it something small and cozy or big and extravagance? If you have set your heart on a venue, work you guest list around the venue’s seating capacity. Or plan out the number of guests you want to invite and find a place that can accommodate all your guests. No hard and fast rule on this. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

3. However, do take into consideration your budget. Will you be able to afford the cost of the wedding dinner for 100 tables in the event that your red envelopes would not cover? You would not want to start the journey of your marriage saddled with debts. Unless you are the heir of Hilton or one of the children of Sultan, do not plan a wedding that is over your means. One way is to cut back on the guests you are inviting. Quality is better than quantity.

4. Another challenge is deciding on the people you would really want to share the special day. Naturally you are on top of the world and is excited to announce to the world that you are getting married, regardless of whether you actually keep in touch with them or not. You may even feel that you have to invite everyone you know for fear of offending them if you don’t. However, if you barely know each other, they’ll probably understand why they were not invited. They would be relieved too as they would be able to save on the red envelopes.

It’s better to have guest who are genuinely happy for you rather than those who attend for the free food. One of my father-in-law’s business associate asked his staff to attend our wedding on his behalf. In the end this person ended up raiding our free flow bar, gotten drunk and nearly crashed our toasting session! Experiences like this make me wish I could undo the past and redo my wedding.

5. Is it going to be an adult only affair or are children included? If your seating capacity is packed to the maximum, I’ll suggest you leave out the children. If you can afford to fit in a few extra guests, include only those of your very close relatives and friends.

6. Run through and compare the lists that both families and all parties involved have prepared. Check, double check and triple check that no one important has been left out. Make sure the parties involved each have a complete set of the master guest list. In that way you can be sure all invited guest have a place for dinner.

My husband and I once went to a wedding reception where the bride and groom thought that we are in their parents’ guest lists and vice versa. Well, this assumption left us with no seats at the wedding dinner.

7. Organize the seating plan. Make sure you sit people whom they are comfortable with together. Never make the mistake of seating your Great Aunt who has not been on talking terms with your second aunt together. You’ll end up with a scene. And you are definitely not the centre of attention!

8. Arrange your guest lists in alphabetical order, it makes it easier for the reception and usher to show your guests their table.

9. Who pays for the wedding gets to decide? We wanted to pay for our own wedding but one set of parents insists on picking up the tab and keeping the red envelopes. This is a tricky situation and is best settled in the early part of the planning. Give and take wherever is required. I strongly prefer to pay for the wedding myself so that I can control the overall direction of the wedding plan.

As I look back on my wedding, it was the sincere people who made the event what it was. So think about what’s really important to you – what you absolutely have to have, and what you can do without.

Hopefully these sharing can make your guest planning easier for you.

Do you think the charges of a wedding make up artist (MUA) are over priced? My MUA charged me RM600 for a day and night session. If I were to do a make-over for an event/function, the charges are only less than half of it. Although weddings are important affairs but expenses like these can often prove to be budget busters.

Other than relying on professional make up artists, why not indulge in the following tips to get an “extreme” makeover at a fraction of the price?

If you are on a tight budget and if you have more than one wedding dinner at different locations, finding a reliable make up artist can prove to be an impossible task. Consider the may self-help guides available on the internet. There are many helpful make up tutorials online and I’ve linked a few videos below for your perusal.

For those who can’t doll up to save their lives, fret not, here’s another alternative – Take up a beauty make up course. After surveying the market for the fees on make up courses, I realise that it’s probably more economical and practical in the long run to pick up a set of life skills which could prove to be a lifesaver for me and my girlfriends! There’s an abundance of make up courses in the market and it is worth exploring this option, seeing that the fees is probably only a couple of hundreds more than what you have to pay for just one full day wedding session (i.e. day and night make up). Go for the reputable brands and survey the schools for their training facilities and credentials before you make a decision. Who knows, you might even decide to venture into your own business of providing make up!

Last but not least, dig up your address book for contacts in the fashion industry! They are probably more in tuned with the latest make up tricks and trends, plus I’m sure your friends will not mind to help you out in your hour of need!

A Dummies Guide to Wedding Banquet Songs

The sound of silence is a big no-no at any wedding banquet. Songs that inspired that lovely feeling and got him kneeling on one knee to ask for your hand in marriage should always be shared and celebrated. The wedding dinner is only 3 hours long but you’ve got a CD collection as big as Tower Records, so how do we even start selecting our all time favorite songs? Fret not, see which personalities you are below to better narrow down your song selections for your wedding dinner.

Fly Me To The Moon

In other words, jazz songs get you in the mood

You’ve probably seen too many jewelry commercials or simply love the breezy, samba feel to it, jazz songs have long been associated with romantic and intimate moods. In the last few years, jazz songs have been a favorite at most wedding banquets as the sultry singers seem to exude sexiness in the backdrop of saxophones and rhythmic beats. From the saxophone icon of Kenny G to the bossa nova magic of Stan Getz, you will not go wrong with the following picks:-

Diana Krall – S’Wonderful, The Look Of Love

Bebel Gilberto – So Nice

Laura Fygi – Dream A Little Dream, Fly Me To The Moon

Rod Stewart – Time After Time, It Had To Be You

Lisa Ono – I Wish You Love, Look For A Star

Silly love songs make you cry

They say no one makes love songs like they used to. Ask your parents if you do not believe me. Gone are the days of flower power and heart melting lyrics, it’s no wonder these songs are a testament that simple piano chords and meaningful words will forever be timeless classics. Go through the following selections and feel the tuggings at your heart as you ponder over the lyrics:-

Bee Gees – How Deep is Your Love, Emotions

Stevie Wonder – You Are The Sunshine Of My Life, Ebony & Ivory

The Carpenters – We’ve Only Just Begun, Close To You

Engelbert Humperdinck – Quando Quando Quando, Forever And Ever

Frank Sinatra – Something Stupid, L.O.V.E

Light your lighter and sing your love ballads

You know you’ve got that rock chick in you, if you grew up listening to the likes of Bon Jovi, Chicago and Bryan Adams. You could identify with their common themes of love and heartaches. The power divas such as Whiney Houston, Mariah Carey and Celine Dion too have sang their hearts out, proclaiming that there is still love in this world. Share the ups and downs of your love life with the following song selections:-

Bon Jovi – Bed of Roses, I’ll Be There For You

Bryan Adams – I Finally Found Someone, All For Love

Air Supply – Lost In Love, Power Of Love

Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On, Because You Loved Me

Whitney Houston – I Will Always Love You, Saving All My Love For You

Boybands Are Your Thing

The picture cut outs from the teen magazines are still pasted on your bedroom wall and you remembered you cried your eyes out when you heard that they were splitting up. Boybands have been a major influence on our adolescent lives and most girls would even go the extent of claiming ownership of their respective band member. As we slowly grew into young adults, the teeny bopper songs seem to highlight the thrills and spills of courtship and puppy love. Reminiscence those high school days of secret admirers and love letters as you play the following selection of songs:-

Westlife – Flying Without Wings, Swear It Again

Boyzone – I Love The Way You Love Me, Everyday I Love You

Take That – A Million Love Songs, Back For Good

98 Degrees – I Do (Cherish You), Because Of You

Backstreet Boys – I’ll Never Break Your Heart, I Want It That Way

Reel Life and Real Life

Who can ever forgot those unforgettable moments on the silver screen when the lead actor finally gets the lead actress? From tear jerking love stories to romantic comedies, we have all crossed our fingers and hoped for an ending that is happily ever after. You even suspected your boyfriend tried to use the movie clichés on you at one time or the other. Turn back the clock and relive those cinematic moments when you play the following songs from popular movies:-

When Harry Met Sally – Frank Sinatra (It Had To Be You)

The Wedding Singer – Adam Sandler (Grow Old With You), Spandau Ballet (True)

50 First Dates – Beach Boys (Wouldn’t It Be Nice), Sting (Every Breath You Take)

Notting Hill – Ronan Keating (When You Say Nothing At All), Elvis Costello (She)

Jerry Maguire – Bruce Springsteen (Secret Garden)

Memorable Songs From Other Sources

Everyone of us have watched a romantic Korean or Japanese drama at some point of time. We all loved to gossip and speculate what was going to happen to our lead actress in the next episode. It’s these TV stories that shaped our perception of love life and what better than to share the songs with our guests as we celebrate the first night as husband and wife. For newly weds of other races, you too have your share of favorite singers of your respective languages. If you have predominantly guests of a same race, you would not go wrong by spinning the latest or most popular love songs in the past decade.

Summary

Banquet songs are meant to bring in the mood to an otherwise somber affair. You may want to have special songs for the wedding program items such as first dance, march in or even food presentation. A word of caution here: We all have our favorite break up songs and these songs, no matter how we love singing them in our shower, is a definite spoiler! Someone actually played “Wen Bie/Goodbye” by Jacky Cheung at a dinner, imagine the horror on the guest’s faces!