Every little girl’s dream is to grow up, fall in love and marry the one man whom she will have and hold, through good times and bad, till death do them part. Fairy tale weddings do come true, however, it is keeping the marriages that seem to pose a problem once the magical dust settles.

Marriage isn’t just a natural progression from fluffy cloud nines, or an escape route to ‘living on your own’. When you say “I do”, bliss and happiness do not simply fall into your life with a wave of a wand. Conversely, marriage is about the readiness to embrace the worst in couplehood and live out your wedding vows of ‘through bad times, bad health and poverty, till death do us part’.

It’s easy to share the good times, the laughter and joy, that’s what even puppy lovers do. But keeping a marriage together is about the conscious effort and will from both parties, to commit to the relationship, even through the darkest days.

This conscious effort will steer your decisions in life. Simply put, it’s the effort to kiss and make up after a huge fight, the effort to ride through thunderstorms hand in hand, the effort to not walk away when differences cant be ironed out, the effort to re-spark the relationship when love fades, the effort to pick up the pieces of a heartbreak and try anew, the effort to overcome emotional upsets including betrayal, and the extra effort to walk away from temptations.

This conscious effort will make you keep your vows intact, which is possibly the foundation to any blissful marriage. And this is of utmost importance because when the flurry of love fades, chances are the bond you have built with your spouse will be strong enough to survive the trials and tribulations of a typical marriage.

Wedding photographs are considered one of the most precious possessions a woman can have. Think about the lovely stories the grandmother can tell their grandchildren when they pore over the photographs many years later. These magical moments are over in a blink of an eye and can never be recaptured again in its essence. Hence, it is not unusual for celebrity or famous wedding photographers to charge exorbitant prices for their skills. There’s nothing wrong in paying a little extra to get THAT photographer who suits your taste in photography.

The current trend of wedding photography demands the photographer to be able to capture “The Moment” . It could be the little peck on the bride’s cheek from her father (Let’s say Awww..), the flower girl kissing the page boy (Flower girl mother beware!) or the funny moment where the granduncle does an impromptu Macarena dance(That little blue pill sure is working!)

Nevertheless, there are a few items on the photographer’s checklist you definitely want to go over before your big day. Read on and do consider them when discussing with your photographer.

Family History

It is the utmost importance to let your photographer know your family background before he goes around taking photographs at will. Sensitive issues like family feuds (This aunty hates that aunty), divorces (Stepmother and Mother is a no-no) and recent deaths must be made known to the photographer so that he knows how to act accordingly. This is to eliminate awkward photographs and potential escalating tension between the family members.

Family Photographs

There are many photograph checklists available on the internet with regards to the flow of photographs to be taken with the married couple. A distinct flow of immediate family and extended family photographs must be followed to avoid confusion and make sure that even the family’s goldfish has taken their photo with the couple. Look up the checklist from the internet to get an idea of the flow of photographs so that no relative can complain that they didn’t have a chance to take a photo with you!

Your Wish Is My Desire

wedding photographer ain’t a genie, and you aren’t Aladdin!!

Don’t all brides have their whims and fancies when it comes to photographs? It could be that stunning golf course backdrop view, or that beautiful sunset, or even a wedding dress and the wedding slippers. Photographs tell a tale of our wedding day and it would be best to compile a comprehensive list for the photographer so that he doesn’t miss out on any special moments which you will want to be photographed and kept for memory. The internet again has an abundant list of ideas (crowd applause, exchanging vows, exchanging vows closeup, bride looking at mirror, bride looking at wedding dress, bride looking at her ring – you know the drill) you could use. For the picky ones, state your desires and they shall be granted. For the not-so-picky ones, you can trust your expensive photographer to do their job.

Gone In 60 Seconds

out of topic – this MOVIE just needs more publicity

Nope, it does not refer to how long your marriage lasts, but rather the time it takes for a Polaroid shot to get developed. If you’re trying something creative like Polaroid photographs or instant photo printing service for your guests, make sure that this is made known to your photographer in advance. I attended a wedding whereby the couple gave everyone an instant photograph from the digital photo printer which was provided by the photographer. It adds a personal touch and also ensures that everyone goes home remembering what a beautiful couple you were that night. Another couple made sure that all their guests had a Polaroid picture and once the photographs were developed, the guests wrote their well-wishes next to their Polaroid photographs pasted on a nice scrapbook. Not every photographer may have the necessary equipment to do so and you might want to check before hand.

Time Is Everything

Photography actually takes time! Everyone needs to stand in position, adjust their clothes, suck in their stomachs, smile/grin/put V sign, say Cheese and take at least 2 shots. The good news is – The above sequence takes only 2 minutes. The bad news is – You’re running out of time.
Make sure that when you prepare your wedding ceremony or wedding banquet timetable, there is adequate time to cater for photography for you and your guests and family members. Failure to do so will ensure that you will offend many people and your shots will not turn out nice. You have been forewarned!

Alright, stop sniggering. It’s been a long day and both of you probably want to retire back to your hotel suite for a well deserved rest. Of course, the wedding night has been a long cherished moment both of you have been looking forward to and you certainly want to make sure everything goes right the first night!

The wedding night can be a taboo for discussion especially for the more conservative Asians but a little preparation and some tips below will help path the way to a wonderful night!

Keeping Your Emotions In (Reality) Check

Both guys and girls approach sex very differently and hence, one must always bear in mind that your partner may or may not be as prepared as you for the wedding night. This is especially true for virgins who may have a myriad of emotional anxiety, excitement, stress or apprehension. Fret not as you are not alone feeling this way.

Some people may even have emotional trauma when it comes to sex due to bad experiences encountered while growing up. This could be in the form of strict upbringing whereby parents view sex as a taboo / “dirty” subject or unpleasant past experiences.

As such, it is very important that couples take some time to communicate their expectations of their first night as a couple. Discuss on your fears and fantasies will prepare both of you better for the big night. Should any partner have a physiological or physical barrier towards intimacy, it would be best to seek professional help to overcome this issue. Remember, women are emotional and men are physical when it comes to sex. Take time to discuss your differences.

It is also important to respect each other’s desires and boundaries when it comes to sex on the first night. Take your time to explore each other and this will keep your marriage interesting for many years to come.

Planning Goes A Long Way

Well, women normally need a lot of preparation to get them into mood for the wedding night. Okay, I do mean for any night that involves sex. It would help to prepare in advance the lighting, scents, music and a very comfortable bed to get the girls into the mood for love. Guys, you’ve been forewarned. Any wham bang thank you ma’am will not score you any points, much less for the bride’s first night. In fact, you may just have turned them off with your insensitive approach to the most magical moment in their lives.

A relaxed atmosphere will certainly get things going. It doesn’t hurt if both parties did some body “housekeeping” to present their best for the big night. Unwanted hairs can be easily removed and excess flab can be reduced with regular trips to the gym / dieting prior to the wedding. Confidence or a lack thereof can sometimes play a key role on the big night.

Looking sexy is always a key ingredient to a fun night! You could surprise each other with lovely gifts so that they can wear it for the night of passion. The internet has full of surprises for the big sexy night!

Be creative! Think along the lines of candles, aromatherapy, massage oils, chocolates & strawberries, bubble bath and etc.

Oh, a word of caution, if family planning is in the works, prepare the rubber (read : protection)!

It’s Not The Rush Hour Honey

Sometimes people put too much expectations on the first night. Let’s be realistic : After months and weeks of preparation, a whole day of events and a hectic schedule, who else has the mood for sex?

Normally, couples can’t wait to retire to their beds and have a good night sleep. It could be a case of the drunk groom who probably isn’t even going to get out of his suit, much less get his you-know-what up and running. It could be that the newlyweds have to sleep early so that they can rush off to their honeymoon the next day.

For the many reasons, the consummation may not happen on the wedding night and there is nothing to be ashamed off. You both have got a lifetime together and I always say it’s the journey that is important, not how you start it off.

After a long and hectic day, the last thing you both want is to continue to put on a false smile and try to please one another. If both of you are tired, take a well deserved break and let the “festivities” carry on the next day.

The wedding night is only as good as you want it to be. There’s nothing wrong to postpone it to another opportune occasion when both of you are physically and mentally ready for the best time of your lives!

We all heard the naysayers in the last few months predicting an economic recession for this year. You’re scared and you know it’s true. With everything going up except your salary, you’re both wondering if there’s anyway to keep costs down at your wedding. The best solution is to postpone it but you probably can’t wait to start your new life together. So that leaves us with the next best option – Cost Cutting measures. What I’m going to share below is probably not going to win a Nobel prize for Economics, but I’m quite sure it’ll save you enough money to go on a decent honeymoon.

Trim the fat

As you go about preparing your wedding, keep an eye on stuff which are going to blow your budget. Itemise the items which you have to purchase and mark out priorities for these items. I’m sure you can do without the 2 turtle doves or an elaborate fireworks display. When it comes to trimming the excess off your budget, you can never go wrong repeating the three mantras – Beg, Borrow & Steal.

If there’s anything you can have without purchasing it, just do it. Network with your relatives and friends to see if there’s any help you can garner from them with regards to them contributing to your wedding plans. This could be in terms of financial or physical aid. If you’ve been a nice person all these while, I’m sure aid will come pouring in once you’ve opened your mouth.

Look out for mundane objects such as ring pillow, wedding accessories, decorations or even that bridal car which you could do without buying or renting. Make your requests known early so that once word gets around, your relatives and friends can keep a lookout for you. This is especially important as there might be some sales or offers which could help you out.

If you need help, never be shy to ask your friends to help you out on your big day. You’ll definitely be able to find someone who’s an amateur or semi-professional photographer, videographer, singer/musician, emcee, photoshop/web designer and etc.

Friends in high places

The person you want to know right now

It’s time to open up your phone book and see which friends you’ve got in high places. By that I mean people who are in the marketing industry or have a large network. It also helps if you’ve got friends who are into trading or premiums as they seem to be able to source great ideas and gifts at cheap prices. These friends probably have connections to people who might help you out in your wedding plans such as florists, wedding planner, event crew, freelance photographers, musicians/singer, classic car collector and etc.

You’ll soon begin to realize the power of networking will help reduce your wedding bill by a big margin. Every penny saved is a penny kept for a rainy day / romantic honeymoon. Heck, you might even be lucky enough to get freebies like I did for my wedding. I asked around and it happened that there was a photo studio who needed to do a cover shot of my wedding venue. Needless to say, some wheeling-dealing and a big personal recommendation from my friend got me beautiful floral arrangements, candle stands and décor for my wedding venue completely free! Of course I bought my friend a good dinner for his help!

Age of internet

Needless to say in the age of blogs and forums, every bride-to-be has scoured the internet for the best tips and resources. They find refuge in fellow netizens who are walking the same journey towards their big day.

Other than collating information on the best deals in town, it doesn’t hurt to find out if there’s any common ground which both of you could share on. An example could be that you found out that another couple is using the same premises the day before yours. It wouldn’t hurt to ask if you could split costs with them with regards to the wedding decorations, table centerpieces and floral arrangements. Fresh flowers usually last more than 2 days and frankly, no one pays that much attention to the freshness of the flowers these days. You could also ask about other services such as emcee or musicians where costs can be shared. Service providers normally provide a discount if they get multiple bookings.

Think smart, not hard

Trade secrets can be useful when planning your wedding. Did you know that flowers generally cost more during the period near festivals and important occasions like Mother’s Day? It is also important to note that your selection of flowers should also tie in with those which are in season. Costs for hiring musicians and emcee also rise due to the increase in demand on these dates. Plan your important day away from these occasions if possible. By the way, plastic flowers cost much lesser than fresh ones and they look just about the same with the proper skills in floral arrangement

It’s becoming common knowledge that wedding lunches are much cheaper than dinners. Moreover, the restaurant can cater to the same menu as the dinner banquet at a lower cost since it’s all about economies of scale for them. This means you don’t have to compromise on the quality of your wedding banquet.

Wedding dresses and night dresses all have a fashion lifespan. If you plan to buy a dress, be sure to ask when is the new batch of dresses coming in. Chances are the old batch of dresses will be sold at a considerable discount once the arrival for the new season’s fashion is in. Make friends with the outlet supervisor and she might even throw in a staff discount (up to 30%) for you if you’re nice to her. I’ve done it before and you can do it too! Don’t be shy to ask for a favour from a stranger, they’re probably too nice to refuse you if you can convince them their help means a lot to you.

A person learns best from history

A practical way to save some money is to ask your married friends! Practically everyone has a no. 1 regret on their wedding budget. Just round them up and ask them this question – If they could cut a cost from their wedding, what would it have been and what was their solution to it?

You would be surprised at all the nuggets of information you could get from them to help you with your budget. I’ve heard about stories of invitation of too many guests, improper allocation and control of liquor being served and unnecessary flowers / decorations which no one took much notice in the end.

Already planning for your honeymoon?

How about the Twin Towers instead of this one?

A little budgeting goes a long way to keep you out of debt. We came to realize that the money saved could have extended our honeymoon by a few days or gotten us to a more exotic destination. Remember, your big day goes by in a flash and you probably will not recall much of it until you watch the video. If you invested your savings into that new king size bed or fabulous silk satin sheets, you would have looked back and thanked me for it.

My no. 1 regret on my wedding budget? Wedding photos taken at the photo studio.

All fairy tale stories usually have a similar recurring theme in their animation movies. They usually involve a beautiful maiden, a male suitor, a baddie and definitely a happily ever after. Judging from all the children’s costume competitions that are so prevalent lately, it is easy to see that every girl has her own secret idol. From the luscious hair of Rapunzel to the carefree life of a Princess in Aladdin, every girl wishes that she can have the particular character or physical attributes of her Princess idol.

Other than enjoying a good romantic ending, I always tend to discover the life stories after the movies end and how they relate to a relationship. Can’t see the connection? Here’s a few for you to ponder on!

Snow White

Ahh… The iconic movie that is billed the Mother of All Fairy Tales. When the movie was first released, most of the children thought their grandmothers looked suspiciously like an evil witch and they suddenly understood why an apple a day kept the doctor away. Other than reminiscing the times when I always stood in front of my mum’s mirror and insisted that it tells me that I was the fairest of them all, I also understood that in life, our loved ones often help us in ways we cannot imagine. Looking back at how the dwarves tried to save Snow White from the evil Queen, it made me reflect on the times when my own friends and family members often told me to stay clear of men who were not suitable for me.

Often when we’re blinded by love, the best person to judge the boyfriend’s character and intentions are actually outsiders. They could be your parents, your close friends or even colleagues. Since we’re so caught up in the moment, they may be events that we often miss out which could be tell-tale signs of how the relationship is going to end. More often than not, we put the blame on ourselves for not trying harder in the relationship. This could be in terms of making more time for each other, sacrificing things like a holiday to run his errands and etc. We might think that our efforts are worth it but our friends may think otherwise.

Our girlfriends and parents are actually the best combing tools to weed out potential disastrous relationships. Just as the dwarves knew about the kind heartedness of Snow White and how easily she could be manipulated by the wrong parties, our friends and families who’ve watched us grow up also know whether “that” man is suitable for us. Lest we have to hear the words “ I told you so”, it’ll be wise to look to your friends and parents occasionally and ask them for their opinions of your guy. Brutal honesty hurts but if they give their thumb of approval, you’ll be sure of a happily ever after.

Pochahontas

In a world where freedom of marriage is now considered a birthright, our elders often put a damper in our relationships, especially those which involve cross cultural partners. Our elders have been shackled by the chains of conservatism and it takes time and effort to make them read the same page as you.

Pochahontas was probably doing what any girl would have done : Fighting for her right to love the man she desired. When Pochahontas saved her beloved Captain from her father, the selfless act proved that love transcends all race, religions and family backgrounds. Her dad was touched by her daughter’s love and set the Captain free. The Captain also repaid her dad’s trust by saving him from a bullet.

The walls of distrust are always there, especially when you have conservative parents and a boyfriend of a different race. Breaking down these walls is never easy but it is worth it. Make sure that your partner supports your actions in convincing your parents that his love for you is nothing but pure and real. Parents tend to overprotective, especially so if they do not understand the culture and mannerism of their prospective son in law. I strongly believe that education and perseverance will help you win your parents over. Vice versa.

If your boyfriend is scratching his head on how to win your parents over, he could always pick up a line or two from the movie. In one memorable scene, Pocahontas visits John and says it would have been better had they never met, but Captain John says he would “rather die tomorrow than live 100 years without you (Pocahontas).” I remembered using up an entire pack of tissues after hearing that line.

Cinderella

Cinderella always makes me recall one word “ Step-mothers”. Nope, I’m not talking about the nice ones but those who probably sent the Devil scurrying to do their housework. We’ve probably heard all the jokes there are about evil stepmothers, but did we see Cinderella lament about her miserable life? Probably not.

Whilst it’s so common for us to conveniently point the finger at others for our problems Cinderella has been a pillar of quiet strength and beauty. Even when she was harshly treated by all and sundry, Cinderella did not flitch from her responsibilities and even managed to make the best out of her situation. Heaven is always fair to you if you do unto others, how you want others to do unto you. It also does help if you have a fairy godmother granting your wishes with a wave of the wand.

Yet the central theme of Cinderella is forgiveness. The moral of the story can be summed up simply as “Beauty is a treasure but graciousness is priceless. Without it nothing is possible; with it, one can do anything”. I’ve learnt that forgiveness is an integral part of maintaining a close relationship with my loved ones. If Cinderella could forgive her step sisters at the end of the story, what better tonic is there for this unfair world if we do not aspire to be more like her.

Beauty and the Beast

Before you start looking at your boyfriend to make sure those nose hairs are in place, why not think back the first time you met him? Was it love at first sight? Was it his muscular appearance that caught your eye? Or was it his romantic gestures that set your heart fluttering?

As much as conventional fairy tales portray their Princesses as a sight to behold, you’d probably be dismayed to know he probably thinks you’re the Beast in the relationship. It’s conventional wisdom that guys woo girls for looks and girls are attracted by guys with inner beauty. Anything extra is a welcome bonus.

In the fairy tale, it tells of sacrifices made by Belle and Beast. Belle had to stay at the castle so as to fulfill her father’s earlier promise, whilst Beast had to let Belle go home even though he did not bear to do so. When Belle finally returns to the castle, she finds Beast dying in his rose bed with a broken heart. Belle had begun to love Beast despite his appearance and she managed to break the curse and Beast was transformed into his original form.

However, this fairy tale is not about who is the prettier one in the relationship. It is perfectly normal for both parties to have unrealistic expectations of their other half in a relationship. The trick is to find a compromise so that you become the Beast and your other half becomes the Beauty. This not only ensures that both of you strive to meet your other half’s expectations, both your sacrifices will also enhance your relationship to the next level. It may sound like hard work but believe me, you’ll get to hear the sweet sounds of birds and bells in your golden years.

In the end, fairy tale cartoons are not just fantasies that occur in a far, far land once upon a time. With the right attitudes towards a relationship, both of you could create the happy ending that would be the envy of others. If there was one last characteristic I always wanted to have after watching the cartoon movies, it’s a good singing voice so that I can summon the birds, rabbits and other cute animals to do my household chores every morning!

It’s the month of sunny June and I’m getting tons of wedding invitations from friends all over. If it’s a wedding of a close friend, you’ll be more than eager to participate and make sure that his/her wedding will be a memorable one for everyone. However, things never seem to go right at times, especially if unexpected problems suddenly crop up. That’s the story I’m going to share with you all and a valuable lesson could be learnt from my experience.

Uncooperative Guests

Some can come looking like a goat!

Problem Scenario – If there’s anything that can stress up your wedding dinner, it’s the guests from hell who refuse to listen to you. You can have the perfect seating plan but always bear in mind that there are always the odd black sheep who refuse to do as they are told. They will saunter into the banquet hall and do their own things. I had the bad experience of trying to tell them to check with the reception counter for their allocated seating arrangement but they just simply refused to listen. This was especially true for the elderly guests as they felt that they had the right to sit with their friends, any where they liked. In the end, we faced a problem whereby a table had too many guests or the guest who arrived later were forced to sit at other tables. This of course lead to many unhappy scenes and problematic seating arrangements.

Preventive Measure – Make sure the couple run through the guest list with their family / ushers a few times prior to the banquet to identify problematic guests (Read : elderly guests). Ensure that the banquet staff keep a few chairs on standby because there’s bound to be guests who insist on “gate-crashing” particular tables where their friends / relatives are. Have the immediate family members on standby so that they can direct their family friends / relatives to the allocated tables and do “trouble-shooting” / “sweet talking” should the guests refuse to cooperate with the ushers.

Unfilled Tables

Don’t go breaking the bank for your wedding dinner!

Problem Scenario – Unfilled tables mean a loss of “income” to the newlyweds. The food is wasted due to insufficient guests and proper management of unfilled tables could lead to savings by “closing off” / transferring the guests to fill up other unfilled tables. The problem is compounded by the fact that the guests at the table do not know who is sitting at the same table or that they are not sure if their friends will make it to the dinner or not. Unfilled tables are the bane of wedding banquets as 1) the guests at the particular table feel “naked” due to the empty seats and 2) food is inevitably wasted as the guests will be full by the 4th – 5th course of the banquet.

Preventive Measure – RSVP your guests to make sure that they are turning up for the banquet. Try to ensure that the guests at the table know each other so that the ushers can request the guests to call their friends to confirm if they are still coming. In the worst case scenario, ensure that the guest’s phone number is available so that the ushers can make the calls themselves to confirm the arrival of the guests. If all things fail, make the practical choice of moving the guests to another unfilled table and hope for the best. Remember, it is not your responsibility to ensure that the guest turns up punctually.

Irresponsible Ushers / Family Members

Get the real usher for the job!

Problem Scenario – The duties have all been set and allocated to the respective usher / family member. Suddenly when the crowd starts streaming to the banquet hall, you find yourself doing ten tasks all by yourself. You look around and find that the person who was responsible for their part of the duties have either gone to the bar for drinks and simply abandoning his duty to chat up some pretty lady. It can be tough if you don’t know the person well enough to tell him to come back and the newlywed’s too busy to help you call them back to their duties. All hell’s going to break loose so what do you do?

Preventive Measure – Check with the couple and get them to assign a duty supervisor for the wedding banquet. Preferably, this person knows all the people on duty that night so that things don’t get too confrontational. Get the people on duty together for at least 1 meeting prior to the wedding banquet so that they can familiarize with each other and their respective duties. Iron out potential problems and make sure everyone is responsible enough to carry out their duty respectively.

The Superstar Wannabe

Just a wannabe ….

Problem Scenario – You’ve hired a MC / wedding singer and she thinks that she is the star of the night. Not contended with just performing her numbers on stage, she insists that the guests applaud after every performance. She might even do a stand up comedy routine and expects everyone to give her the attention she deserves. Just what do you do with someone who’s determined to live out her superstar fantasy in front of an unconcerned crowd?

Preventive Measure – Like all job interviews, check with your MC / singer’s credentials. Get to know his/her routine and make sure you like what you hear before hiring him / her. Keep the entertainment straight to the point and make sure there’s no hidden surprises like cross dressing performances or scantily clad provocative dancing which could make your guests choke on their shark’s fin. If the performance crosses the line, be firm and tell him/her to tone down the performance a little.

Pop Goes The Weasel

It’s not ME! I’m cute!

Problem Scenario – One of the main highlight of the wedding banquet is probably the champagne toasting. It’s where the MC blesses the newlywed on behalf of the family and friends, wishing them happiness and longevity in their marriage. We had the horror of seeing the groom fail to pop open the champagne bottle and there was no spare bottle. In the end, the guests had to endure the uneasy silence while seeing the groom and the banquet staff struggling to pop open the bottle. I guess delivering a baby is probably much easier. In our Chinese culture where the champagne bottle represents a phallic symbol, the failure to pop open a bottle is sure to invite a lot of sniggers and dirty looks.

Preventive Measure – Make sure that the banquet uses champagne bottles which do not date back to the stone ages. Check the expiry dates prior to the banquet and insist that they keep a few spare bottles in case things really do not go according to plan. Make sure the groom is taught the proper method of opening a champagne bottle and practice before hand if the need arises.

The Lackluster Toast

A good toast? I don’t think so …

Problem Scenario- The family members and friends are finally invited to the stage to toast the guests and thank them for attending the wedding. The toasting begins and you only hear the groom staining his voice to make the toast. Generally, it would take more than a couple of family members and friends to spice up the toasting with the long and hearty “Yam Sengs”. We had to listen to the groom struggle for breath after each toast. What a pitiful sight!

Preventive Measure – Make sure that your MC generates enough atmosphere and encourage the guests to toast to the newlyweds. It is even more important to ensure your family members and friends are already pre-assigned to bust their lungs out during the toasting session. Make sure that there are enough microphones to go around so that everyone on stage gets a chance to give their “oomph” for the toasting! If the adults are shy, get your cousins and nephews/nieces to help out!

Friends and relatives from near and far made it to your wedding to especiall

y share and celebrate the joyous occasion with both of you and your families. Shouldn’t you reciprocate with a token of appreciation? The question is what wedding favours to give. We had many brainstorming sessions before deciding on our wedding favours. We wanted one that not only ties in with our theme but also is a remembrance of our wedding. In the end we opted for potpourri because the floral scent and colourful petals fitted our garden theme perfectly.

I part DIY my wedding favours. I bought the potpourri and packed it into organza pouches decorated with tiny roses on the front. I printed our names, wedding date and a thank you note onto a small card which was then threaded with a gold string to the potpourri pouches. In total, I spend less than RM500 for 700 wedding favours.

With a little creativity, you can have great wedding favours without spending much. If you have some creative ideas and would like to personalized a gift for your guests, what better time to do it than now! Show your appreciation with a personal touch. If you like to bake, you can bake some cookies, cup cakes or even brownies and packed them in small decorated plastic bags, boxes or tins. You can even make kaya, preserves and chutneys, which can all be presented in miniature jars with your very own label.

For the music lover, you can compile a list of love songs that you played during your wedding onto a CD for each of your guests to take home to remind them of the wonderful evening.

1, 2, 3 say cheeze! Photographs are a great memento of the special day. This is an excellent idea for a wedding favour. Most guests will appreciate a copy of the photos they take with the bride and bridegroom. Compile photographs of the day’s event and all the candid moments you share with your love ones, relatives and friends. Place them onto a CD for each guest. They will love you for the beautiful memories.

Whatever you decide to give as favours, the most important thing to make sure (other than there being enough to go around) is that your favours are meaningful. It is a piece of memory for your guests to remember you by.

Last Saturday, we were invited to a wedding and our names were no where to be found i

n the guest list. Imagine our horror and the embarrassment when the reception had to call up the groom to check if we were the guest.

Could all the hiccups be minimized when drawing up the guest list? Drawing up the guest list is one of the most stressful things if not executed properly. As the saying, too many cooks spoil the broth. Usually the invitations are divided into three groups – the bride and groom, and the bride and groom’s respective families.

After choosing the venue, the parties involved should sit down and draw up the list of who they want to invite, taking into consideration the seating capacity of the venue. You wouldn’t want to squeeze fifty tables into a capacity of thirty and packed your guests like sardines in a can! Usually for first wedding in the family, parents are more excited than the bride and bride groom and want to invite everyone even the ones they don’t know well. It’s like they have somehow missed out on their own wedding and have to crash their children’s wedding.

This inevitably causes problems, as everyone will have conflicting ideas on who should and shouldn’t be invited. Your mother will insist on inviting aunties and uncles you never knew you had, while your father-in-law-to-be will want to invite all his colleagues and business associates. And to top it all off, your fiancé wants to invite his drinking pals. You’ll be left wondering if there will be any room for your friends.

Looking back, we should have put our foot down when it comes to the invited guests. When we planned our wedding our venue had the seating capacity for seventy tables of which forty five tables are guests whom we don’t even know. Even if we were to bump into each other on the street, we wouldn’t even recognize them. That is why it’s important to streamline your guests and invite people who mean most to you and are sincerely happy for you. In the end it really boils down into what kind of wedding celebration you have in mind.

These are a few lessons I have learn after planning for my wedding. Hopefully you can find it useful.

1. Allow yourself plenty of time to plan the guest lists, Do not do it under a time constrain. You’ll be stress out, temper’s will flare and in the end you might not even have a wedding to plan.

2. Have in mind what kind of wedding you want. Is it something small and cozy or big and extravagance? If you have set your heart on a venue, work you guest list around the venue’s seating capacity. Or plan out the number of guests you want to invite and find a place that can accommodate all your guests. No hard and fast rule on this. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

3. However, do take into consideration your budget. Will you be able to afford the cost of the wedding dinner for 100 tables in the event that your red envelopes would not cover? You would not want to start the journey of your marriage saddled with debts. Unless you are the heir of Hilton or one of the children of Sultan, do not plan a wedding that is over your means. One way is to cut back on the guests you are inviting. Quality is better than quantity.

4. Another challenge is deciding on the people you would really want to share the special day. Naturally you are on top of the world and is excited to announce to the world that you are getting married, regardless of whether you actually keep in touch with them or not. You may even feel that you have to invite everyone you know for fear of offending them if you don’t. However, if you barely know each other, they’ll probably understand why they were not invited. They would be relieved too as they would be able to save on the red envelopes.

It’s better to have guest who are genuinely happy for you rather than those who attend for the free food. One of my father-in-law’s business associate asked his staff to attend our wedding on his behalf. In the end this person ended up raiding our free flow bar, gotten drunk and nearly crashed our toasting session! Experiences like this make me wish I could undo the past and redo my wedding.

5. Is it going to be an adult only affair or are children included? If your seating capacity is packed to the maximum, I’ll suggest you leave out the children. If you can afford to fit in a few extra guests, include only those of your very close relatives and friends.

6. Run through and compare the lists that both families and all parties involved have prepared. Check, double check and triple check that no one important has been left out. Make sure the parties involved each have a complete set of the master guest list. In that way you can be sure all invited guest have a place for dinner.

My husband and I once went to a wedding reception where the bride and groom thought that we are in their parents’ guest lists and vice versa. Well, this assumption left us with no seats at the wedding dinner.

7. Organize the seating plan. Make sure you sit people whom they are comfortable with together. Never make the mistake of seating your Great Aunt who has not been on talking terms with your second aunt together. You’ll end up with a scene. And you are definitely not the centre of attention!

8. Arrange your guest lists in alphabetical order, it makes it easier for the reception and usher to show your guests their table.

9. Who pays for the wedding gets to decide? We wanted to pay for our own wedding but one set of parents insists on picking up the tab and keeping the red envelopes. This is a tricky situation and is best settled in the early part of the planning. Give and take wherever is required. I strongly prefer to pay for the wedding myself so that I can control the overall direction of the wedding plan.

As I look back on my wedding, it was the sincere people who made the event what it was. So think about what’s really important to you – what you absolutely have to have, and what you can do without.

Hopefully these sharing can make your guest planning easier for you.

It was 16 July 2006. He had to stop by his mum’s place t

o grab some stuff and I went along with him. The moment he open the door, we were greeted by family members for my surprised birthday party. After blowing out the candles, he gave me three choices on a dessert tray. What are the odds? I actually chose correctly i.e. a slice of moist chocolate cake. Well, everyone was fooled. It was actually a ring box wrapped in a water proof paper and coated with chocolate syrup. He got down on one knee and he proposed.

Love is in the air. You’ve found your perfect other half and it’s time to pop the question. How will you propose? Will you get down on one knee at a romantic dinner? Or are you looking for something more creative? If you are someone who is fond of PDA “Public display of affection” you can follow in the footsteps of David Tan who pop his RM54,000 proposal on the billboard along the LDP on 14 February 2008.

http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/2/15/nation/20336463&sec=nation

Here are 10 creative ideas

1. Nothing is more sexy than a man showing his talent in the kitchen for the woman he love. Cook and set a romantic candlelight dinner for two. Serve her a glass of her favorite drink with the ring frozen in an ice cube. When she realizes what is in her drink, get down on one knee and ask her to marry you.

2. Arrange with your local bakery or restaurant to bake a cake with your proposal written on it. Remember to personalized it with her name and put it on the display case. Take her to the joint for dinner and ask her to choose a cake for dessert. When she sees the cake, drop down on one knee, pull out the ring, and ask her to marry you.

3. If you like the idea of being on top of the world. You can propose to her 500 feet from the ground by arranging a hot air balloon ride. As both of you enjoy the beautiful sunset, tell her how much you love her and ask her to marry you.(www.airshipflight.com)

4. Learn some magic tricks to entertain her. As a finale, mysteriously make a ring box appear and propose to her.

5. Make a booking at the cinema for a private screening and rent an ad space for your proposal. If you like to make your proposal a family affair, you could also invite them along. It is a really fabulous opportunity to experience the exclusivity. One very important detail though, other than popcorn make sure you have the ring with you! (For more details check out www.tgv.com.my and www.gsc.com.my)

6. Make a dedication on her usual radio station. Time it with your drive to a romantic spot. Preferably have the car top down. When she hears your public declaration, proposed to her under the blanket of stars and top it off with champagne and strawberries.

7. Bring her to a funfair. Pre-arrange with the game stall vendor to win her a “prize” when you throw the ball and hit the target (make sure you practice your throw, you wouldn’t want to be there the whole night!). When she realises the prize is a diamond ring, proposed to her.

8. If she’s an animal lover, get her a puppy. Tie the ring to it’s collar ribbon. When she sees the ring, get down on your knees and propose.

9. Create a scrapbook, filled with love letters, cards, photographs, mementos and the list is endless. Do a journaling on each page so that the scrapbook can tell a story. Preserving precious memories is a great way to show your love and let her know you cherish your time together. And what better ways for the closing then with a marriage proposal?

10. Organize a party and play pass the parcel. In preparation for the game, wrap the ring in several layers of wrapping paper. Whoever is holding the parcel when the music stops removes one layer of wrapping and perform a challenge or forfeit (go wild with your ideas and have fun!) that has been pre-written on each layer. Arrange with the person who starts and stops the music to ensure the ring stops at her. When she unwraps it and gets to the ring, and ask her to marry you.

What other ideas do you have? Share it with us!

Do you think the charges of a wedding make up artist (MUA) are over priced? My MUA charged me RM600 for a day and night session. If I were to do a make-over for an event/function, the charges are only less than half of it. Although weddings are important affairs but expenses like these can often prove to be budget busters.

Other than relying on professional make up artists, why not indulge in the following tips to get an “extreme” makeover at a fraction of the price?

If you are on a tight budget and if you have more than one wedding dinner at different locations, finding a reliable make up artist can prove to be an impossible task. Consider the may self-help guides available on the internet. There are many helpful make up tutorials online and I’ve linked a few videos below for your perusal.

For those who can’t doll up to save their lives, fret not, here’s another alternative – Take up a beauty make up course. After surveying the market for the fees on make up courses, I realise that it’s probably more economical and practical in the long run to pick up a set of life skills which could prove to be a lifesaver for me and my girlfriends! There’s an abundance of make up courses in the market and it is worth exploring this option, seeing that the fees is probably only a couple of hundreds more than what you have to pay for just one full day wedding session (i.e. day and night make up). Go for the reputable brands and survey the schools for their training facilities and credentials before you make a decision. Who knows, you might even decide to venture into your own business of providing make up!

Last but not least, dig up your address book for contacts in the fashion industry! They are probably more in tuned with the latest make up tricks and trends, plus I’m sure your friends will not mind to help you out in your hour of need!